You never had Chipotle?!
Infiniti is a 19-year old retail worker and aspiring hip hop dancer. She’s a cute girl who has fallen in love with a guy named Dave, who randomly texted her one day, said that he saw her walking down the street and thought that she was hot. This should have been an immediate red flag for Infiniti – how did a stranger get her number? But it wasn’t.
Anyway, Infiniti and Dave both live in NYC but they have never met up because, while he used to be a rapper, he is now an international business man who travels a lot. Nev and Max ask Infiniti if Dave has ever given her any specifics or details about his alleged travel (or even his job) and she says that he has mentioned Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Nev says that Ruth’s Chris is a chain and Max jokingly says that he’s heard that Chipotle is a great New York restaurant. Infiniti totally doesn’t get it and says, "Chipotle is great! You never had Chipotle?" The look on Nev’s face is pretty priceless. If even Nev thinks you’re a fool, things aren’t going great.
After Infiniti describes how he won’t call her or talk on the phone, Nev says that’s she’s a beautiful, talented dancer, so why is she wasting her time on this loser?! Notice he doesn’t call her smart.
She has texts from him saying don’t contact Catfish, and he “locked” his Instagram.
This whole time Infiniti is convinced that he’s real. I would never call a young woman a moron, so I am not going to call her a moron. I don’t have to.
Infiniti gives Nev and Max the name of two of her friends who she’s talked to about Dave – Nay and Nellie. Max says that they are both suspects. Good call Max. Nay doesn’t answer the phone, but Nelly does. She says that Infiniti HAS talked to Dave on the phone (or at least she said that she has) and that they were going to meet up in Miami, but he never showed.
Nev and Max do a phone number lookup and the number is linked to a Facebook account for a 35-year old guy named Macksimo and he’s seemingly a sex offender.
Several dumb texts and phone calls and a fairly awkward dance session later, they go to meet “Dave”/Macksimo in a weird alleyway/parking lot. Max calls it “ominous” which made me laugh because you know Infiniti doesn’t know what that means.
The guy there is a name Ray and he’s a friend of a friend who said that Infiniti never paid him any mind, and he wanted to talk to her. He seems bemused. Then he says they have to “clear everything up” because he is now in a relationship and everything needs to end immediately. He takes the blame, but you get the vibe that he started laughing as soon as they got back into the car, which I respect.
Another friend then calls Nev and says that Ray isn’t the catfish, but that they need to talk to Jonielle. Nellie…. Jonielle...could Jonielle be Nellie?! Oh, the guys have cracked the case.
They arrange for Nelly to come over and she comes clean that it was her all along. She created Dave to get back at Infiniti for giving her number out to some random dude. Then she kept it up because “Dave” brought them together as friends.
When Nev and Max catch up with the girls a few months later, they are in Miami together. Nelly wrote “this long paragraph apologizing.” A paragraph, I’m assuming, because Nelly’s knows that’s all that Infiniti could handle.
Okay, here’s what I think really happened. Nelly wanted to be on TV. She asked Infiniti to go along with her plan and Infiniti, being the Mensa member that she is, forgot and/or couldn’t connect the dots between Nelly’s plan to be on TV and her new internet lover.
But no hate here…. This was an unintentionally hysterical episode - Ray was the unsung hero of the show, and, yes, Infiniti, Chipotle is great.
