I'm a maven
Today I give you my random and unapologetic opinions of the Real Housewives of New York….
First off, we have the OG of the RHONY women, the fris-kay lady with the crazy eyes, the self-described “maven” Ms. Ramona Singer… Oh Ramona, what can you say about Ramona? While she started out the season fairly mellow, she ended up annoying the hell out of me. Ramona is clearly incredibly jealous of Bethenny’s success. The fact that Ramona can NEVER compliment Bethenny’s business and financial success without also mentioning the age at which she herself also made a million dollars basically proves that she is well jell, as the say in England. As a side note, I would actually really love it if one of the ladies did admit that they are jealous of Bethenny’s success. Bitch is fucking rich – it’s natural, relatable, and honestly pretty sensible to be jealous. Like when Bethenny said she’s jealous that Tinsley seems to have a super chill life, that was relatable and amusing. Now, do I think that Ramona had the right to be upset that Bethenny didn’t show up to her anti-aging skin care launch/party? (Not sure what you call a party to announce a product that seemingly doesn’t exist? Sheree? Any thoughts?) Yes, Ramona had every right to be upset, however I do agree with Bethenny that she has had a multitude of business ventures featured on the show that never seem to come to fruition. In fact, my first thought when Ramona started talking about her newest skin care line was, didn’t she do this way back when? I very distinctly remember a scene in which Ramona was discussing the packaging for her Tru Renewal Skin Care line. Also did anyone else notice that she, at least once, called it an anti-skin care line. Ramona said, “Anti-skin”…. Hahahah. I also am not entirely sure that Ramona knows what the word “maven” means and/or is using it correctly. In EVERYTHING she does, she’s a maven?! Hmm… she definitely talks a big game. I have never really liked Ramona, but I did kind of miss Ramona and Sonya this season – the funniest scene in RHONY history is the two of them reacting to being called white trash and acting like they didn’t know what it meant.
Next, we have the Countess. Oh, Luann… I always go back and forth on Luann. She can be incredibly pretentious and condescending, but she can also be pretty funny. She is clearly going through a lot in her personal life, so I don’t want to be too hard on her. I will say two of my favorite moments of this season were: 1) when Luann, Sonya, and Bethenny were watching Ramona in a wheelchair at the airport from their car, and Luann called Ramona a “pain in the ass” – don’t know why but that really tickled me, and 2) Luann describing Ramona’s renovated home to Bethenny in full Bitch mode. Apparently, I like it when Luann is a mean girl. Hmm… not sure what that says about me.
Like Luann, I vaguely recall that Carole is also some sort of aristocrat by marriage (maybe?), so might as well do Carole next. Ugh! I have never and could never run a marathon, and it’s awesome that she did, however damn… You didn’t fucking cure cancer. Stop mentioning it every episode. Carole and the marathon is like that friend on social media who had a baby and now that’s all they ever post about. Yes, it’s great, and we’re all happy for you, but STFU with it. Thousands of other people have also run a marathon. As far as her and Bethenny, like the rest of the world, I don’t really understand why they had a fracture in their friendship. On one hand, I do think that they probably don’t have much in common other than the show, but they were so close. I agree with Carole that Bethenny did take some shots at her on screen this season, however I certainly wouldn’t say that Bethenny bullied her. I think that both of them are defensive and hate to be called out on their BS. Carole does seem to take herself very seriously and does seem to always have a BFF each season. While I can sympathize with Carole saying that she couldn’t handle Bethenny always crying, she really, really seemed cold when Bethenny was just breaking down in Cartagena – she was lying on the floor of the bathroom after eating fish, and then had a panic attack before they went shopping. I agree with Sonya who said that was the time that you needed to be her friend.
As for Bethenny… hmm, it’s hard to not feel sympathetic towards Bethenny, especially after watching their Colombia trip. She seemed to be just overwhelmed, stressed, scared, and feeling alone, and her once closest friend of the group was not interested. Is Bethenny the funniest? Yes – and she always has the best lines. That being said, I do get super annoyed when Bethenny always gives her 2₵, especially during reunion episodes. In season one, Andy Cohen proclaimed her the “Greek chorus” of the show, but the chorus needs to shut it sometimes. I actually agreed with Ramona that it was rude for Bethenny to say that she was giving herself an infomercial. Was I thinking it? Sure, but in the moment, with your “friends”, it was unnecessary. I liked seeing Sonya and Bethenny together – they were fun and seemed to bring out the good in each other. Maybe that’s why Ramona was going so hard on Bethenny. She felt like she had lost her homie, much like Bethenny feels that Tinsley replaced her with Carole.
Speaking of Tinsley, I actually kind of like her. Or perhaps I don’t not like her. She’s pretty unoffensive and just seems like a sweet, frivolous girl. This is a woman who admittedly would wear her ‘20s-themed costume or a wedding dress that she tried on despite not being engaged out and about. She fell on the floor when her boyfriend surprised her, and cried with her mother over her eggs. I mean, you can’t take her super-seriously, but you also can’t really dislike her. She also managed to pretty much stay out of any and all drama this season. Other than the little tiff with Bethenny about trying on wedding dresses, I can’t recall a fight that she was in. I also really dug her braids this season, and I thought inviting Sonya to her hotel and giving her a Louis Vuitton bag was sweet.
As for Sonya, she was definitely my favorite this season. I liked watching her with Bethenny and Luann and I liked that she said that Bethenny needed a friend. I didn’t agree when she compared a divorce to death, but I don’t think that she meant it as a dig. As for her fight with Dorinda over her ex-husband’s family’s crest deer on her shoes, yes, it was a little ridiculous – they’re divorced so it’s not exactly her family, however why did Dorinda give a shit? How did it affect her in any way? Let Sonya have her deer. She also was cute saying that her clothes automatically come off at midnight or whatever. Like Tinsley, Sonya definitely doesn’t take herself too seriously and it’s refreshing to watch those two just enjoy life. I, personally, though, find Sonya more entertaining.
And finally, we have Dorinda… um, no, ma’am! I have to say, I have never liked Dorinda, nor have I ever found her drunk tirades particularly funny. She has consistently stirred the pot unnecessarily, which makes for good drama, I suppose, but also makes her look pretty shitty as a friend. She is angry, aggressive, and obnoxious as hell when she’s drunk and I don’t like how Carole and Ramona make excuses for her. How she acted in the restaurant prior to flying to Puerto Rico should have been mortifying for her. Between that restaurant blow-up, the fight at the spa over Sonya’s slippers, and, of course, her fight with Luann in Colombia, I just don’t like her, and, therefore, have a very hard time ever siding with her on anything. However, I will end this by saying that I often think that Dorinda has the best hair.
Well, I think there’s at least one more part of the reunion to go – I’ve found the first two parts to be pretty painful. No matter what is said, at least one of them (of course, not Tinsley and rarely Sonya) has something to scream about it. Let’s all just hope that we don’t have to hear “Jovani” again.
